Orthodox Wedding — A Guide for the Couple and Guests

Introduction

Marriage is the Holy Mystery by which God blesses the union of a man and a woman, transforming it into an ecclesial community — a little Church. In Orthodoxy, marriage is not merely a social contract nor a mere ceremony — it is a mystery in which two become one body and one spirit, entering a communion of love modeled on Christ’s love for the Church.

The Apostle Paul writes in the Epistle to the Ephesians: “For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the Church… Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the Church.” This image defines what an Orthodox marriage is: sacrificial, devoted and holy love.

Preparation and Fasting

Preparation for a church wedding begins long before the day itself.

Conversation with the priest: The couple comes to the priest at least a month before the wedding. The priest speaks with them about the Orthodox understanding of marriage, about the obligations they are undertaking, and checks that there are no canonical impediments (blood relationship, a previous marriage without church divorce, difference of faith).

Fasting and Confession: Three to seven days before the wedding, both members of the couple fast and come to Confession. They receive Holy Communion during the days of the fast, if possible at the Liturgy immediately before the wedding or the day before. The fast is abstaining from meat, dairy, eggs, alcohol and marital relations.

Documentation: The Church requires a baptismal certificate for both members of the couple, and confirmation that there are no church marriages that have not been dissolved. The civil marriage is contracted before or after the church wedding (legally, the civil wedding must precede it).

The Betrothal (Engagement)

The rite begins with the Betrothal — the engagement before the church threshold or in the vestibule. The priest stands, holding the rings, and reads prayers. Then he exchanges the rings on the fingers of the couple three times — on the right hand, which in the Orthodox tradition is the finger on which the wedding ring is worn (unlike the West, where it is worn on the left hand).

The Betrothal symbolizes a public commitment — before the face of the Church and the community, the couple pledges itself to one another. From this moment, the shared journey has begun.

The Order of the Wedding

After the betrothal, the couple enters the church and stands before the priest and the koum (best man of the wedding). The priest reads prayers and litanies, asking God for the blessing of the new home.

1. Questions and Consent

The priest asks both members of the couple whether they enter into marriage of their own free will and whether they have given their word or oath to anyone else. Both answer: “Yes, Father.” Free will is canonically necessary — a wedding under coercion is not valid.

2. Blessing and Readings

The priest blesses the couple and reads passages from the Apostolic Epistles and the Gospel. The passage about the wedding at Cana in Galilee (Jn 2:1-11) is often read, where Christ turned water into wine — a symbol of the transfiguration of the natural into the holy.

3. The Crowning

This is the climax of the rite. The priest takes the crowns and places them on the heads of the couple with the words: “The servant of God [name] and the handmaid of God [name] are crowned in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit — amen.”

The koum (best man) or the priest holds the crowns above the heads or carries them during the following part. The crowns remain on the heads throughout the wedding.

4. The Common Cup of Wine

The priest blesses a cup of red wine and the couple drinks from it in turn three times. This symbolizes the shared life — the joys and sorrows they will share. The wine is also a symbol of the Blood of Christ that seals their covenant.

5. The Procession (the Dance of Isaiah)

The priest leads the couple in three circles around the analogion (the church table) while the choir sings three hymns — the Dance of Isaiah: “Rejoice, O Isaiah! A Virgin has conceived in the womb and given birth to a Son, Emmanuel…” In each circle the koum separates the wedding garments so they do not become entangled.

6. Removal of the Crowns

After the procession, the priest removes the crowns with words of thanksgiving and blessing. The marriage is concluded.

The Crowning

The crowns are perhaps the most striking element of an Orthodox wedding and distinguish it from every other rite. In the most ancient tradition, these were actual wreaths of flowers or olive branches. Today they are metal crowns adorned with crosses or with the images of Christ and the Theotokos.

The symbolism of the crowns is twofold: they signify kingdom — the new home is a small kingdom that the spouses build together and over which they reign in love. But they also signify martyrdom — for true marriage requires self-denial, patience and sacrifice. Christ was crowned with a crown of thorns; Christian spouses wear their crown as a sign of voluntary sacrifice for one another.

After the Wedding

After the marriage is concluded in the church, the couple comes out before the church where the guests await them. The throwing of rice (or, in more recent tradition, rose petals) over the couple is a folk custom that symbolizes fruitfulness and abundance.

The celebration continues at the wedding feast, but the Orthodox tradition encourages that it be joyful without excess — remembering that the couple has just received a Holy Mystery, and not merely organized a party.

The honeymoon and prayers: On the first day of marriage, the priest gives the couple prayer books for the marital home — prayers that the spouses read together. The Church suggests that the couple continue regular Confession and Holy Communion after the wedding as well.

What to Wear

The bride: White is the symbol of purity and joy. In the Orthodox tradition, the bride wears a wedding dress that covers the shoulders and décolletage — modesty is part of the spirit of the rite.

The groom: A dark suit or formal attire. It may also be national dress if such is the tradition in the family.

Guests: Women should have their shoulders covered in church (a scarf or shawl). Skirts below the knee are appropriate. Men in a suit or formal attire. One should avoid overly striking colors that draw attention away from the couple — the church is not a fashion runway.